I cannot comment on your chart without having seen it: all I can say (as someone who survived and grew through a ten-year meltdown – Neptune opposite six Leo planets in the Twelfth House) is : hold on, take things one day at a time, and try to have faith that something deep and ultimately transformative and renewing is at work in your life. All good wishes Anne ps here is a link to something I wrote during my own ‘dark night of the soul’. It may help….
http://anne-whitaker.com/2010/03/04/swimming-in-a-secret-sea/

thank you for contributing this painful but pertinent personal story. Unfortunately, there are all too many of them.

My mother, in a nursing home from a broken hip, took matters into her own hands at 91 1/2. She stopped eating with the acknowledgment of an ombudsman so she would not be IVd and died after about 10 days of not eating.